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← Friday semi-random image dump and open thread
Far-right Proud Boys violently assault protesters in late-night rampage; Fox News declares “Antifa attacks again — swords and vandalism” →

Today in Bad Anatomy: Love gas and egg-laying women

 October 12, 2018
  · 47 Comments

Check out the eggs on her! 

By David Futrelle

Fellas! Be careful out there! Always wear a gas mask when you’re in the vicinity of an egg-laying lady, lest she ensnare you with her secret love gas!

Here’s today’s sexy science lesson, which I found on Reddit’s Bad Women’s Anatomy subreddit. (Obviously this post only applies to cis women’s anatomy, or it would, anyway, if it bore any relation to reality.) I’m not sure where it came from originally. I hope it was a joke, but sadly I suspect it was not.

Thanks, Mr. Science!

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Posted in: bad anatomy, bad science, Dunning–Kruger effect, mansplaining, men who should not ever be with women ever, misogyny, reddit
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Comments

Please read the comments policy before leaving a comment - thanks!

  1. Weird (and tired of trumplings) Eddie says:
    October 12, 2018 at 4:14 pm

    say WHAT???

    Reply
  2. Austin G Loomis says:
    October 12, 2018 at 4:17 pm

    What.

    The.

    Helling.

    Ass.

    Reply
  3. Austin G Loomis says:
    October 12, 2018 at 4:22 pm

    My initial reaction is not showing up as I type this, but I stand by it. I mean, I get whence “the days of egg laying” come, but “they give off a gas (through their skin)”… I begin to wonder if they really do believe “foids” are a separate species from us Teh Menz.

    Or it could be a clever poe. “And but something changes” reads like an attempt to use “And but so”, the compound conjunction that had replaced “Also” for everyday-use purposes in the Twenty Minutes into the Future of the late David Foster Wallace’s Infinite Jest.

    (Arrested Development narrator: “He had never actually read Infinite Jest; in fact, much of what he knew about it came from reading Elliot McGucken gritching about it on alt.society.generation-x and alt.culture.jollyroger back in the Nineties.”)

    Reply
  4. Gijoel says:
    October 12, 2018 at 4:28 pm

    Dave you couldn’t have written a better MRA/incel parody if you tried.

    Reply
  5. Skylalalalalalala says:
    October 12, 2018 at 4:37 pm

    I mean, he is very, very, very, very slightly correct in that when ovulating women do give off pheromones that do result in men in close proximity finding them ever so slightly more attractive, and apparently also cause men to drink more (see this study https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC4469196/) but it’s not like they instantly cause all men in the vicinity to want to have sex with them, nor do they “make them all almost equally attractive”.

    Also, whatever faint bit of fact he has in there is completely buried under the whole egg-laying & giving off gas nonsense.

    Reply
  6. Pie says:
    October 12, 2018 at 4:38 pm

    Hurr. I’m fairly certain that there have been some old papers about regarding what sort of people smells women prefer, and how they might rate attractiveness, and how those opinions might change over a menstrual cycle. I’m going to go out on a limb here, though, and say that hardly anyone can tell whether a woman is ovulating just by looking at her.

    Maybe “love gas” was supposed to be “pheromone”? It isn’t even clear that humans even have a functional organ to detect those, but who lets facts get in the way of this fetishy fantasies?

    Reply
  7. Weird (and tired of trumplings) Eddie says:
    October 12, 2018 at 4:53 pm

    who lets facts get in the way of … fetishy fantasies

    Not me!! (hee hee)

    Reply
  8. BlueNinja says:
    October 12, 2018 at 5:36 pm

    It’s as if a six-year-old was told a very basic outline of the lady side of “the birds and the bees” and then asked to repeat back what he heard.

    Reply
  9. Fishy Goat says:
    October 12, 2018 at 6:28 pm

    I really, really hope it’s an issue with Google Translate.

    Reply
  10. Bina says:
    October 12, 2018 at 6:41 pm

    Well, that made me cackle. But not because I’m laying an egg OR giving off laughing gas.

    Reply
  11. saint_somnia says:
    October 12, 2018 at 7:01 pm

    But does she breathe through her skin? (points if you get the reference)

    Reply
  12. Talonknife says:
    October 12, 2018 at 7:09 pm

    I think some of this might be attributable to a language barrier. The spelling of “fotos” seems to imply that the poster’s first language is not English. Possibly Spanish?

    Reply
  13. Cyborgette says:
    October 12, 2018 at 7:45 pm

    (Obviously this post only applies to cis women’s anatomy, or it would, anyway, if it bore any relation to reality.)

    “No hon, that’s just my ovipositor. Haven’t you ever seen a woman naked before?”

    Reply
  14. Nowherepants says:
    October 12, 2018 at 8:54 pm

    Poe’s law strikes again.

    Pretty sure this is but another troll trying to be flippant and probably drunk posted that shit. This can’t be are!

    Reply
  15. epitome of incomprehensibility says:
    October 12, 2018 at 9:46 pm

    I could deal with laying an egg each month, provided it’s smaller than a chicken egg. Would be less annoying than menstruation.

    And it’d make childbirth a whole a hell of a lot easier. If you had a fertilized egg and wanted to hatch it, you could stick it in an incubator and go about your business. 🙂

    (So what if I’m jealous of birds? They get to fly! And be the descendants of dinosaurs! What’s not to like?)

    Reply
  16. cornychips says:
    October 12, 2018 at 9:54 pm

    Well the gas i emit doesnt come out of my skin and seems to detract menfolk.

    Heyooooo fart jokes!!

    Reply
  17. Katherine the Adequate says:
    October 12, 2018 at 10:12 pm

    Cornychips, I was going to post that exact same thing. What do the dude bros think of cis female flatulence? Is it dangerous? Inquiring minds must know.

    Reply
  18. Bananananana dakry: Short-Haired, Fat, and Deranged says:
    October 12, 2018 at 10:24 pm

    I’m pretty sure that according to them, ‘real women’ don’t fart, and if they do, it’s a hideous demonstration of no class and it means they’re a foid anyways.

    Because you know, god forbid they might be humans with actual bodily functions too.

    They really need to stick to RealDolls.

    Reply
  19. tim gueguen says:
    October 12, 2018 at 11:11 pm

    I wonder if this person didn’t read a poorly translated version of one of Edgar Rice Burroughs’ John Carter books. Women on Barsoom lay eggs.

    Reply
  20. Buttercup Q. Skullpants says:
    October 12, 2018 at 11:56 pm

    What the purple fuck is this nonsense?

    SCENE: INTERIOR OF FITNESS GYM. TWO WOMEN ON ELLIPTICAL TRAINERS.

    WOMAN 1: Grunt! Ugh

    WOMAN 2: Are you okay? What are you doing?

    WOMAN 1: Laying my monthly egg. Me nest here. Me want strong Hulk man. Ba-cuck cuck CUCK!

    (An EGG appears. A MAN on a nearby wrist-enlarging machine stops and stares. His canthal starts to tilt.)

    MAN: Say, do I detect gas? And softer skin coloring?

    WOMAN 2: That’s what it’s guessed to be.

    (All three fall into pensive silence. On the TV screen, a chyron announces that male scientists are now pinning blame on women for the greenhouse effect.)

    Reply
  21. JessicaRed says:
    October 13, 2018 at 12:10 am

    “A little knowledge” is a dangerous thing.

    Reply
  22. Jane Done says:
    October 13, 2018 at 1:12 am

    @Skylalalalalalala

    Ohhhhhhh dear. A scientific study on female sexuality. That’s a massive can of worms right there. Stuart Brody anyone?

    Despite these converging findings, we remain cautious in our reporting of these results given the reported problems (Wood et al., 2014) with replication in studies in the general domain of (female) sexual preferences and sexual signaling

    At least the researchers have the decency to admit that female sexuality is studied with all of the nuance and careful contextualising of evopsych-based morality.

    Don’t get me wrong, I firmly believe the scientific method is the backbone of society, but un-malewashed studies on female sexuality are basically rainbow-maned unicorns.

    Reply
  23. Ooglyboggles says:
    October 13, 2018 at 2:01 am

    Wat

    Just wat

    Reply
  24. Pie says:
    October 13, 2018 at 2:37 am

    @Nowherepants

    Poe’s law strikes again.

    Pretty sure this is but another troll

    That’s not how Poe’s law works. If you’re “pretty sure” that is a troll, then the whole “real thing impossible to tell from satire” probably doesn’t apply, does it?

    Assuming that all idiot assholes are jokers allows the actual idiot assholes to hide behind that excuse. So maybe don’t do that?

    Reply
  25. Kat, ambassador of the feminist government in exile says:
    October 13, 2018 at 3:43 am

    Does this scholar of women’s bodies find us desirable?

    when a man is VERY close to them, it makes them all almost equally attractive

    Or disgusting?

    it’s a sad fact . . .

    Yes. Yes, he does.

    Also, he is terrified of us.

    Reply
  26. ellesar says:
    October 13, 2018 at 3:55 am

    Maybe he means toad ‘women’?

    Reply
  27. Alexisagirlsname says:
    October 13, 2018 at 4:49 am

    Poe’s law strikes again.

    Pretty sure this is but another troll trying to be flippant and probably drunk posted that shit. This can’t be are!

    I mean, this must just be a pisstake of manosphere pseudoscience, mustn’t it? It’s just too ridiculous.

    But, then, the fact that this might possbly be real MRA crap does just go to prove Poe’s Law, you’re right.

    Reply
  28. Otrame says:
    October 13, 2018 at 8:56 am

    @Cybergette

    Thanks. I enjoyed the laugh. (Ovipositor… *snerk*)

    ——————
    @Epitome of incomprehensibility

    Good point. Wings, laying eggs, children of the dinosaurs. I could go with that.

    Or the way the Tenctonese do it, where the women carry the kid for the first half, then transfer the baby to the male to finish off the pregnancy. Can you imagine how our igno-boys would react to that idea?

    Reply
  29. Marshmallow Stacey Maximal (formerly bluecat) says:
    October 13, 2018 at 9:06 am

    @ JessicaRed

    “A little knowledge” is a dangerous thing.

    It is indeed, but still not a patch on total ignorance and making things up!

    Just been reading reviews of Michael Lewis’s book on the Orange One’s administration and how nobody even came to find out what the different departments do and how they do it. That seems to be pretty much the lesson of the book: ignorance can be deadly.

    Reply
  30. Chris Oakley says:
    October 13, 2018 at 10:35 am

    It’s a miracle these guys can even figure out how to brush their teeth.

    Reply
  31. LindsayIrene says:
    October 13, 2018 at 10:38 am

    I have seen anti-birth control pill types claim that natural birth control via fertility awareness is easy because a man can tell that his wife is fertile by smelling her scalp.

    Reply
  32. CriticalDragon1177 (@CriticalDragon1) says:
    October 13, 2018 at 10:41 am

    David Futrelle,

    You sure that this guy isn’t describing an extraterrestrial women and this is part of some weird sci fi story. I think that pretty much everyone on the planet knows that human women don’t lay eggs.

    Reply
  33. Aunt Podger, Ketchup-Spewing Feminester says:
    October 13, 2018 at 10:53 am

    I think this is just a bad translator bot, myself. You know, the kind that yoinks core copy and replaces the text with synonyms to avoid screening?

    If that’s true, the idea that people actually think incels are worth specific bot-targeting may disturb me me more than having someone out there who’s actually spewing this.

    Ready for my scathing takedown that implies I’m somehow actually supporting the idea that women lay eggs, now.

    Reply
  34. Weird (and tired of trumplings) Eddie says:
    October 13, 2018 at 11:23 am

    @ corny, Katherine, bananana;

    Hot girls don’t POOP… they do, however, fart….

    Reply
  35. Alexisagirlsname says:
    October 13, 2018 at 11:30 am

    I have seen anti-birth control pill types claim that natural birth control via fertility awareness is easy because a man can tell that his wife is fertile by smelling her scalp.

    Is scalp smelling part of their foreplay?

    Maybe smelling your wife’s scalp is an effective form of birth control because it’s enormously off-putting.

    Reply
  36. dust bunny says:
    October 13, 2018 at 11:59 am

    @ skullpants

    His canthal starts to tilt.

    Thank you for this gem. And the whole piece. They were the best thing about my day, and my day was pretty ok actually.

    Reply
  37. Fabe says:
    October 13, 2018 at 12:39 pm

    You sure that this guy isn’t describing an extraterrestrial women and this is part of some weird sci fi story. I think that pretty much everyone on the planet knows that human women don’t lay eggs.

    Maybe this incel is a Martian from Edgard Rice Burroughs Mars novels

    Reply
  38. Jamesworkshop says:
    October 13, 2018 at 3:24 pm

    My vespene gas brings all the terran colonist to the yard.

    Reply
  39. Dormousing_it says:
    October 13, 2018 at 4:09 pm

    What about menopausal women? Perhaps we exude a man-repelling gas. Yes, that must be it. That, plus a little bean and cabbage induced flatulence, should keep me safe from these guys. ☺

    Reply
  40. Buttercup Q. Skullpants says:
    October 14, 2018 at 8:16 am

    @dust bunny Thank you! It makes me happy to hear your day is going well…hope the rest of it was good too 🙂

    Reply
  41. Sheila Crosby says:
    October 14, 2018 at 9:22 am

    @Dormousing_it
    No, we exhude a gas that makes us invisible. Quite usefully so on occasion.

    Reply
  42. Richard Smith says:
    October 15, 2018 at 2:01 pm

    @Buttercup Q. Skullpants

    SCENE: INTERIOR OF FITNESS GYM. TWO WOMEN ON ELLIPTICAL TRAINERS.

    Now I’m imagining Chicken Lady on an elliptical, an explosion of feathers as soon as MAN speaks…

    Reply
  43. Cheerful Warthog says:
    October 15, 2018 at 10:52 pm

    Lots of geekery in this thread and yet ever since saint_somnia’s breathes-through-skin challenge its all been very…

    …quiet?

    Reply
  44. Full Metal Ox says:
    October 16, 2018 at 5:12 pm

    @saint_somnia:

    But does she breathe through her skin? (points if you get the reference)

    @Cheerful Warthog:

    Lots of geekery in this thread and yet ever since saint_somnia’s breathes-through-skin challenge its all been very…

    …quiet?

    Ah yes; Quiet from Metal Gear Solid: The Phantom Pain, whose designer disability requires her to maintain a vow of silence and wear minimal clothing; I’m somewhat cynically disappointed that Kojima didn’t throw in a compulsion to make sammiches. (That said, the idea of targeted viral sabotage of languages and therefore cultures is powerfully intriguing.)

    Reply
  45. Cheerful Warthog says:
    October 16, 2018 at 5:20 pm

    Full Metal Ox:

    That’s Kojima all over, really, isn’t it? “I’m going to bring up an interesting, powerful idea, a point that allows for artistry and interest, that can truly be interrogated and can even confront my audience. Now I’m going to cover this idea in juvenalia and sexism. Now a dash of John Carpenter and/or 80s music… and we’re done!”

    A brilliant artist in many ways, certainly an auteur, but “flawed” doesn’t come close to covering him.

    Reply
  46. Sly Fawkes says:
    October 17, 2018 at 4:04 am

    Wait, now I’m confused. Is this “hysterectomy” operation I’m having in December to remove a uterus-thing, or an ovipositor-thing?
    I guess I’m no longer giving off gas through my skin, because the Chads just aren’t coming around anymore.
    (I’m having a hysterectomy in December to remove a uterus or ovipositor full of polyps and benign tumors. Not that anyone was worried about me or anything, but just in case anyone wondered.)

    Reply
  47. Full Metal Ox says:
    October 18, 2018 at 4:28 pm

    @Cheerful Warthog:

    A confession is in order: I’ve never actually played Metal Gear Solid; I got the gist of it from a Tumblr comm called Bikini Armor Battle Damage.

    Here (if you’ve not seen this already) is one (male) gamer’s exasperated critique of Quiet’s uniform (warning for NSFW language):

    http://bikiniarmorbattledamage.tumblr.com/post/129199254102/daniel-submitted-jim-sterlings-take-on-quiet

    Reply

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