It’s PLEDGE DRIVE time again! WHTM is now ad free and entirely dependent on folks like you for its continued existence. If you’ve donated already, THANKS! If you haven’t, and you can afford it, please DONATE HERE NOW! Thanks again!
By David Futrelle
So on Friday I put up a post featuring some of the exciting hate mail — well, hate comments — that I get on a regular basis. I ended the post with two short paragraphs in which I gently mocked one hate commenter who’d set forth the thesis that “women suck dick because dick built and maintained all upon the earth.”
Yesterday, I got a response from another regular would-be commenter on this blog accusing me of being obsessed with Mr. I Built Civilization With My Dick.
I devoted all of 73 words to Dick Dude’s comment; this dude’s reaction was literally twice as long. Here’s his opening paragraph:
Er, dude, the entire purpose of this blog is to track the terrible things that self-professed “real men” say and do. Hell, the whole point of journalism is to report and comment on the things that other human beings say and do.
I can’t imagine Mr. Literally Shaking would prefer it if I switched this blog to an all-memoir format, or simply used it to recall my dreams (which are entirely self-created and definitely original).
Also, dude, you’re the guy sitting around thinking about bedazzling Trump’s penis. I mean, I don’t want to kinkshame, but I’ll make an exception if your sexual fetish involves Trump and his penis in any way.
The rest of his comment is similarly penis-centric.
Wait, I’m supposed to be the obsessed one? Dude, my dick is apparently living rent-free in your head, as they say.
Oh, but things get even more ironic. The guy who tried to post this comment is a troll I banned on this blog more than a year ago. Not that the ban has really slowed his output much. Since being banned, he has tried to post 86 comments to this blog; I’ve let through maybe 20, because I thought they were sort of funny, but the overwhelming majority remain in the moderation queue. I haven’t even bothered to read most of them.
And these aren’t short comments either. They tend to run between 100 and 200 words long. Assuming an average length of 150 words, this means that the dude tried to post nearly THIRTEEN THOUSAND words worth of comments to this blog in a year, knowing that the vast majority of them wouldn’t be seen by anyone but me. (He may have posted more under different IP addresses but I’m too lazy to go back through the mod queue to determine if this is the case.)
In any case, I don’t think I’m the obsessed one here.