By David Futrelle
It’s been another busy 24 hours in Trumpmerica. Reince Priebus is out, Trump is literally advocating police brutality, and Pickle is a Real Boy.
Let’s go to the tweets:
Rimps Prengus pounding the back of the front seat of his SUV. "He can't do this to me! I'm Rungs Parplus!"
— Patrick Monahan (@pattymo) July 28, 2017
Reince Priebus will return to his old job, transforming into a rat to escape Harry Potter.
— Mike Drucker (@MikeDrucker) July 28, 2017
Anagrams for Reince Priebus:
Urine Crib Seep
Epic Risen Rube
I Snub Pee Crier
Recipes Be Ruin
Burp Ice, I Sneer
I Rub Nice Peers
— David Futrelle (@DavidFutrelle) July 29, 2017
After I wrote that I realized “Pee Crier Snub I” was far more accurate.
Hey, it’s the president urging cops to be more abusive!
— Vic Berger IV (@VicBergerIV) July 28, 2017
Pretty wild that groups that invite the president to speak at their events now basically need to have an apology ready for when he veers off pic.twitter.com/Ys90ZVsF7U
— Parker Molloy (@ParkerMolloy) July 29, 2017
— RazzleDazzleRootBeer (@MatthewPrince14) July 29, 2017
Trump's White House is so terminally ill, I'm surprised Gingrich hasn't tried to divorce it. https://t.co/zcTzurqOOh
— David Slack (@slack2thefuture) July 29, 2017
Trump's old tweets are like Hallmark cards. There really is one for every occasion. pic.twitter.com/Wjkt9irHGh
— shauna (@goldengateblond) July 29, 2017
In what may be the most surprising news of this weird week, it turns out that the 9-year-old kid who wrote to Trump is … real.
Everything is so incredibly stupid pic.twitter.com/A8rPqb7fem
— Patrick Monahan (@pattymo) July 29, 2017
Meanwhile, Trump himself checks in from Bizarro Earth:
In other words, Russia was against Trump in the 2016 Election – and why not, I want strong military & low oil prices. Witch Hunt! https://t.co/mMSxj4Su5z
— Donald J. Trump (@realDonaldTrump) July 29, 2017
A now-iconic scene gets a new soundtrack:
And fine, here it is with the Curb Your Enthusiasm theme music: pic.twitter.com/V1y1hWxO7T
— Parker Molloy (@ParkerMolloy) July 28, 2017
And a raccoon gives us this lovely dramatization of the myth of Sisyphus:
— 🐕 (@zboah) July 29, 2017
I will leave you with this, which somehow takes two wonderful things and turns them into pure horror:
— Emergency Kittens (@EmrgencyKittens) July 29, 2017