There’s been a bit of excitement amongst the Flat Earthers over the past couple of days, as word spread that none other than Donald J. Trump had come out publicly as a Flat Earther, telling an Associated Press reporter that:
I fly a lot, and I mean a lot. No one flies more than me. Listen, I own a jet. I own a 757, beautiful plane, it’s the best plane! If the world were round, believe me, I would know!
Flat Earthers around the globe reacted with excitement to Trump’s apparent endorsement of their peculiar theory — forwarding the story to fellow Flat Earth conspiracy theories, posting comments on Flat Earth sites happily welcoming Trump into the fold. Internet-famous Flat Earth Youtuber Mark Sargent posted a video reporting the, er, “news” as if it were something that might have actually happened.
Responding to Sargent’s video on flatearthscience.org, one Flat Earther allowed himself to dream:
One year ago today, I learned about FE. What an October Surprise this could be. It seems likely to me, that he will have to address it. Trump has said that he will reveal the truth about 911, when he is elected. There is a lot of Truth in FE and ME. A wise man such as he, should be able to see it as easily as we do. A Globalist Trump is not, it would be a nice one year anniversary present to me, from the Goddess herself, if he was to call himself a Flat Earther. The Truth is very Powerful and will certainly set us Free as we were promised.
But despite being gullible enough to literally believe we live on a flat disc with a little snowglobe over it, that the moon and sun are basically big ceiling lamps, and that gravity is a hoax, many Flat Earthers thought the Trump news sounded a bit fishy.
“Wouldn’t that be something!” one commenter on flatearthscience.org declared. “But it sounds too good to be true.”
Another thought the “news story” in question was an attempt to make Flat Earthers look bad –by linking them to Trump:
This is to attach Flat Earthers to Trump (who says wildly outlandish things) … seems more like a discredit.
As it turned out, the obviously fake story had originated on an obviously fake news site crudely impersonating CNN and featuring only two other “news” stories in its archives, one of them headlined “World’s Biggest Starbucks Opening In Phoenix AZ [featuring] Roller Coaster, Underground Water Slide & Robot Baristas,” and written by a fellow who says his name is “Jimmy Rustling.”
The site’s “About” section, at the bottom of each page, makes a reference to “Fappy The Anti-Masturbation Dolphin” and encourages anyone with complaints to call a phone number that turns out to be the number of the Westboro Baptist Church.
So, yeah, fake story is fake.
But I am happy to report that the whole embarrassing spectacle did at least inspire a couple of crappy Trump-centric Flat Earth memes. I found these on Whotfetw.com, my go-to site for crappy Flat Earth memes.
But it’s not just political memes the Flat Earthers have trouble with. They do a pretty terrible job with cat memes, too.
In conclusion, this is the weirdest damn election year I’ve ever lived through.