The far right racist douchebag-o-sphere has been warning us for some time that Cultural Marxism works insidiously to destroy Western Culture and make women all frumpy and shit. Well, you’ll never guess just how sneaky these Cultural Marxist plotters really are: apparently they have the power to cause women to repeatedly drop their iPhones.
In a new post on Roosh V’s Return of Kings site, some dude called Theodore Gumbril dissects what he sees as the increasing “Degeneracy Of London’s Women.” The four signs of this ongoing Lady-pocalypse?
1) Cracked iPhone screens
Gumbril reports with horror that “London is full of iPhones with broken screens, the majority of them owned by women.” Why? Brace yourself: it’s because these women use their iPhones a lot, and therefore also drop them a lot. No, really — one of them actually ran into Gumbril on the sidewalk, quite literally, as he was walking along minding his own business and pondering just how degenerate London women are becoming.
Even in busy areas of London, British women are walking around intently staring into their iPhones, earphones in, oblivious to all around them as they bathe in Facebook likes and Tinder swipes from thirsty male supplicants online. A girl doing this walked into me on Tottenham Court Road a few weeks ago. I was chastised with an indignant yelp of protestation. It is, of course, men’s duty to move out of the way promptly when this happens.
Yeah, it’s not as if dudes ever march down the sidewalk oblivious to the world around them. Never ever seen that happen. Nope.
Oh, but it gets worse:
2) Women wearing sneakers with business suits on the way home from work
Nothing betrays a Sheryl Sandberg-clone femcunt like sports shoes with business attire. In London, this is the exclusive preserve of Anglo women who have brought into the myth of office-cubicle empowerment. I have yet to see this ghastly mismatch of styles in women from Eastern Europe or Russia.
Huh. I’m pretty sure women in the US started wearing sneakers — known in the UK as “lorries” — on their way home from work way back in the 1980s. You might think they did this because their feet hurt after wearing uncomfortable heels all day, and because they didn’t feel obligated to dress up for random schlubs on the subway. You would be wrong. It was Cultural Marxism all along!
3) Women wearing leggings as pants
“This fashion trend,” Gumbril declares, “is a Chernobyl-level disaster in the field of female attire, and an egregious affront to all decency.” Why? Because this shameless immodesty is a disgrace, an assault on all decent men, at least when the women’s butts are, you know, fat.
4) Increasingly androgynous women (who won’t give Gumbril their phone numbers)
After lamenting “the distinct and often brash lack of femininity” of today’s London women, Gumbril tells this horrifying story of what happened when he tried to pick up one of these women, for some reason:
Over the weekend, I had an unpleasant experience opening an Audrey Hepburn lookalike.
I’m just hoping he means he “opened” her in the pickup artist sense and not in the serial killer sense.
What struck me about this distasteful set, aside from the the snarky disdain and aggressive, relentless shit testing, was the fashion—high cut bangs, a formless cream coat, boy trousers, and boy shoes.
The style is an instant erection killer, and (unfortunately) increasingly common.
Er, quick question: if you think the existence of women like these are a sign of the Cultural Marxist apocalypse, and if the sight of them causes your permaboner to shrink, WHY DID YOU TRY TO PICK HER UP? You’re not actually obligated to start a conversation with anyone or anything you can, at least in theory, put your penis into.
Anyhoo, this dire state of affairs, Gumbril tells us, is all the fault of Cultural Marxism and the evil elites promulgating it, who for some reason benefit when women wear sneakers with business suits.
Similar to the Soviets’ New Socialist Man, the New Feminist Woman is a grotesque pastiche of anti-femininity, Kurzweilian automation, and repugnant narcissism taken to depraved extremes. The men who have to come to terms with these women must deal with androgynous, unfeminine women who are addicted to their iPhones and who live at the centre [of] a CERN-like attention vortex driven by real life and social media validation.
So I guess the only solution is for Gumbril and other dudes who think like him to stop giving these women their attention.
Somehow I suspect this proposal will be acceptable to the women of the world as well.
NOTE: Sneakers are not actually referred to as “lorries” in the U.K. I was just making a joke. They are actually known as “spotted dicks.”