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Off-topic Poetry Korner: Don't Make Me Ralph

 November 9, 2014
  · 45 Comments

catread

Sometimes, when going through the mod filter here, I run across a bit of spam so wondrous I feel the need to share it with the world.

So here is a lovely little poem I got today, from an obscure poet named Ralph Lauren Sale.

On Sundays and holidays, paddleboats reveal to visitors
a unique view of everything one of the most beautiful Rio postcards
can offer. The banks of the lagoon contain one of
the best equipped leisure areas in the city and invite the visitor
to go walking, jogging or cycling on bicycles hired on the spot.

You will find brands like Allen Solly, Louis Philippe,
Van Heusen, Peter England People will be available
on the site. Keep a watch for all those amazing offers a .
ralph lauren sale
cheap ralph lauren ralph lauren sale uk ralph lauren uk sale men ralph lauren sale

It brings a tear to my eyes.

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Comments

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  1. leftwingfox says:
    November 9, 2014 at 7:05 pm

    “Shall I compare thee to a summer’s day?
    Thou are more lovely and more temperate
    and swimsuits are half off at The Bay.”

    Reply
  2. Robert says:
    November 9, 2014 at 7:10 pm

    Leftwingfox, I’d upvote that if I could.

    The spambot’s beard is half-constructed.

    Reply
  3. ryeash says:
    November 9, 2014 at 7:12 pm

    I love how the cat in the pic is in the process of bunny-kicking that book the hell off of it.

    Reply
  4. kittehserf - MOD says:
    November 9, 2014 at 7:32 pm

    The pure poetry of the free market!

    Reply
  5. kittehserf - MOD says:
    November 9, 2014 at 8:28 pm

    Since this is OT and has a kitty pic, look what I saw via Pharyngula. As someone rightly asked, “Greebo, how did you get to Japan and breed?”

    Reply
  6. Bina says:
    November 9, 2014 at 9:05 pm

    The poetry is found,
    if not PROfound.

    Reply
  7. Kim says:
    November 9, 2014 at 9:20 pm

    Those are some nasty-ass cats!

    Reply
  8. kittehserf - MOD says:
    November 9, 2014 at 9:22 pm

    I’m imagining the photo being found on the photographer’s camera, the only explanation for the bloodstains on the ground …

    Reply
  9. Kim says:
    November 9, 2014 at 9:24 pm

    Since we’re OT I’m going to do some shameless self-promotion of my new tumblr – Where’s the cat at? where I photoshop pics of cats into other pics of places they weren’t.

    Quite a few mammotheers have sent their cats on adventures, but I need more kitties. So if you want to pop over to the tumblr and submit your kitty, that would be awesome. Then your cat could be famous on the internet* just like Weirwoodtreehugger’s cat.

    *famous for very low values of fame.

    Reply
  10. thebewilderness says:
    November 9, 2014 at 9:28 pm

    I love this. I hope you are getting lots of followers and plenty of submissions.

    Reply
  11. kittehserf - MOD says:
    November 9, 2014 at 9:33 pm

    Kim, you picture of Little Caesar’s Cat is brilliant! <3

    Reply
  12. thebewilderness says:
    November 9, 2014 at 9:35 pm

    Those cats would be a great photoshop doing a Godzilla.

    Reply
  13. Kim says:
    November 9, 2014 at 9:37 pm

    Glad you guys are liking it. I’m having a lot of fun doing them. ๐Ÿ™‚

    Reply
  14. weirwoodtreehugger says:
    November 9, 2014 at 10:16 pm

    I think I’ll get on my phone soon and submit a pic of my mom’s ginger tabby Frankie. Hopefully I can find a useable one.

    Reply
  15. pallygirl says:
    November 9, 2014 at 11:21 pm

    They’re great. ๐Ÿ™‚

    Reply
  16. Puddleglum says:
    November 9, 2014 at 11:27 pm

    I take terrible cat pics. It may be because the black cat likes to sit on the black chair…

    Reply
  17. kittehserf - MOD says:
    November 10, 2014 at 12:09 am

    Your black cat has obviously figured out the way to Not Be Seen, Puddleglum!

    Reply
  18. pallygirl says:
    November 10, 2014 at 12:25 am

    You have a Cheshire Cat, black variant. ๐Ÿ™‚

    Reply
  19. saphy says:
    November 10, 2014 at 1:16 am

    Is that your own Sweetie Pie wearing glasses, David?

    Reply
  20. sff9 says:
    November 10, 2014 at 6:50 am

    Wow, I love the brutal interruption of the narrative mid-sentenceโ€”and then the enigmatic litany in the last stanza. Powerful stuff. Thanks for sharing.

    Reply
  21. Kim says:
    November 10, 2014 at 7:11 am

    David should send me his cats to shop, but he hasn’t yet.

    Frankie!

    And random cat I got – is this your cat?

    Reply
  22. skiriki says:
    November 10, 2014 at 8:40 am

    Ooooo sent in my pics. Hope they will do nicely.

    Reply
  23. Citizen Justin says:
    November 10, 2014 at 11:08 am

    My sister-in-law makes $600 a day… no, just kidding.

    Reply
  24. kittehserf - MOD says:
    November 10, 2014 at 5:06 pm

    Love the giant kitties, Kim! Is that Urquhart Castle in the second pic?

    Reply
  25. Kim says:
    November 10, 2014 at 5:17 pm

    It is kitteh, well spotted!

    Citizen Justin – did she invent the one special trick? Or does she just use it to work from home?

    skiriki – Your kitty is lovely and I already have an idea of where he will go.

    Reply
  26. kittehserf - MOD says:
    November 10, 2014 at 5:29 pm

    Oh good! I thought it looked right. I visited it once. Great Ceiling Cat, but it was windy!

    Reply
  27. weirwoodtreehugger says:
    November 10, 2014 at 6:24 pm

    Frankie at Stonehenge! Delightful!

    Reply
  28. kittehserf - MOD says:
    November 10, 2014 at 6:30 pm

    How do you DO those shadows, Kim? I am all envious, they’re so realistic.

    Reply
  29. David Futrelle says:
    November 11, 2014 at 1:21 am

    ha! where’s the cat at is awesome

    Reply
  30. Kim says:
    November 11, 2014 at 5:55 am

    Thanks david ๐Ÿ™‚ Hope you’ll send me one of your cats.

    @kitteh
    Well, often I copy the shape of the shadow from the original pic if it suits, and try to match it to where the light is coming from in the new pic. And I set the layer to multiply and lower the opacity until it looks right.

    And a new pic for skiriki

    Reply
  31. skiriki says:
    November 11, 2014 at 9:49 am

    SQUEEE! Thank you Kim! THAT ROCKS! ๐Ÿ™‚

    Reply
  32. Elegantmule says:
    November 11, 2014 at 7:29 pm

    You do not do, you do not do
    Anymore, black shoe
    From Ralph Lauren

    Reply
  33. Kim says:
    November 16, 2014 at 7:20 pm

    The pic of Frankie has taken off. Over 200 notes. I know that’s not huge in he greater scheme of things but it’s a lot for me. ๐Ÿ™‚

    So I think the takeaway from it is, there is popular support for giant cats being sent to destroy monuments.

    Reply
  34. pallygirl says:
    November 16, 2014 at 7:34 pm

    Popping off to look at your Tumblr again now. Thanks to you and David, I got a note from Tumblr that I have upvoted at least 50 post-things. ๐Ÿ™‚

    Reply
  35. weirwoodtreehugger says:
    November 16, 2014 at 7:40 pm

    Go Frankie! He was in a shelter for four whole years before my mom adopted him because he’s timid and nobody wanted a really jumpy cat. Glad to see in his middle age he’s finally getting some love thanks to Kim’s photoshopping skills!

    Reply
  36. thebewilderness says:
    November 16, 2014 at 7:42 pm

    I think it is cumulative. I only have three or four hundred followers but something I said a year ago has seventeen thousand notes at last count. Things go round and round in ever widening circles.

    Reply
    • Kim says:
      November 16, 2014 at 8:51 pm

      @thebewilderness
      Yeah, it’s like a giant pyramid scheme ๐Ÿ™‚ except without the downside

      Reply
  37. pallygirl says:
    November 16, 2014 at 7:49 pm

    I could be one of your followers too, thebewilderness, if you tell me your Tumblr blog name thing (I do technical definitions good).

    If you don’t want to mention it here, David, Kitteh, and Emily have my email address.

    Reply
  38. thebewilderness says:
    November 16, 2014 at 7:56 pm

    Sometimes I use thebewilderness and other times tehbewilderness cuz I want to be sure everyone knows when I am wearing a sock. On Tumblr I use teh.

    Reply
  39. pallygirl says:
    November 16, 2014 at 7:58 pm

    And… followed! ๐Ÿ™‚

    Reply
  40. thebewilderness says:
    November 16, 2014 at 8:00 pm

    I followed you right back!

    Reply
  41. pallygirl says:
    November 16, 2014 at 8:02 pm

    LOL, I don’t post anything. I just follow things I find interesting.

    Reply
  42. thebewilderness says:
    November 16, 2014 at 8:07 pm

    I mostly reblog kitties.

    Reply
  43. pallygirl says:
    November 16, 2014 at 8:30 pm

    That is a very useful reblogging function. ๐Ÿ™‚

    Reply
  44. kittehserf - MOD says:
    November 16, 2014 at 10:10 pm

    Reblogging kitties is an excellent function for anything. It should be built in to all the sites. ๐Ÿ™‚

    Reply

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