Always practice safe saliva sex
Hey ladies! Better not read today’s post, as it’s only for ALPHA DUDES and would-be ALPHA DUDES. For while I was out looking for Man Boobz material I happened to run across some excellent and not-at-all ridiculous advice from a dude called FISTO on how ALPHA DUDES can use sex to totally control the ladies.
This advice is so totally ALPHA I feel I can only dispense it in small doses, so here are a few tips. Only after you have totally mastered these tips to totally master the ladies should you even consider reading the rest of the post I got them from. (Also, to be serious for a moment, it’s also fucked up and possibly triggery, so you may not even want to read my post.)
First of all, you need to know that
Women fall in love with you when you Make them feel special + Make them feel feminine …
When they love you, you have the power. …
You will become the man she desperately needs and is terrified of losing.
Ok, so how do you do this? Easy as pie!
Women release the hormone OXYTOCIN during sex, the more intimate and powerful the pleasure for her, the more you will own her ass.
And that means ORGASMS, baby!
The most common orgasm a woman has is the Clitoral Orgasm. Most people know you can stimulate her to climax with your hands or tongue or when fucking you can angle your body so it gets rubbed by your rock hard abs.
Wait, what?
you can angle your body so it gets rubbed by your rock hard abs.
You can angle your body to rub her clit with your abs.
Ok, I am just going to have to take his word for this. Granted, I don’t actually have rock-hard-abs, but I’m pretty sure that unless you are literally this dude
no part of your abs — not even your lower abs, down there between the six pack and the you-know-what — are going to be rocking her clit.
Anyhoo, if you want to make her feel especially feminine and special, you need to
do what a Lion does when it hears a wounded animal and go in for the kill.
And what that means is spitting. Lots of spitting. Possibly NONCONSENSUAL spitting.
Ladies love spitting!
Making her open her mouth and spitting in it, spitting on her face, baby smacking her face, her tits, really throwing down on her ass leaving big red handprints, making her tell you that’s your pussy, and on and on. That’s what bonds her to you, that’s the Greater Alpha Male Long Game.
Ok, you say, I’m totally down with this ALPHA stuff but do the ladies really like all of this spitting?
Well, that’s exactly what some dude asked in the comments to FISTO’s totally ALPHA post, and FISTO laid down some TRUTH on him:
You gotta amp up the intensity of the encounter, you have to escalate by kissing her and making her swallow big drips of saliva, then when you start fucking her tell her to open her mouth, she may say no. Tell her “DO IT”. She will whimper and then do it, and let it drip right in there. Then when you get going hard and the smacking ensues let her rip. It’s not for everyone, but you’ll likely be THE ONLY ONE that does it to her. And that’s leaving a mark.
Pressuring women into doing humiliating things after they say no … what could be more ALPHA than that?
… and I don’t really have any more jokes for today.
I can only hope that all of Fisto’s alleged sexual experience is made up, not just some of it.
I found Fisto and his Red Pill advice through the excellent Blue Pill subreddit. It was also posted in r/sex, where it was, thankfully, downvoted and ridiculed.
NOTE: Added a trigger warning of sorts.
Without other people who have your back (other REAL people not one of your clones ) it wouldn’t be bearable for me personally. The humor is a blast ,keeps you focused and gets you through some of the blood curdling grotesqueness of interfacing with people like that.
Alfalfa male is not my creation, Betamax male is, but you’re welcome to use either or both!
Hi, a little late to the party, but Carlos/Fisto’s comment about “de-escalating” reminds me of something my first boyfriend did. I was trying to talk to him about some things he was doing that I wasn’t into, and he flounced off to the lounge room, whining about how “oh I guess we can’t sex at all if I can’t do it right blah blah blah” I ended soothing his broken ego and never really spoke up about it again. But even then, I was pretty amazed that that was how he reacted. I mean really? He also kept suggesting anal even though it holds no interest for me and I made that clear.
In short: Fisto reminds me of my dickhead boyfriend I had at 16. Quality.
Well, I had a LOT of catch-up reading to do; I’m glad we finally banned Fisto and ‘friend’. In other news – HAPPY BIRTHDAY TINY FISH! (C.O. Argenti) and, from like, 6 pages ago: my only consistent childhood TV time was Wishbone. Dog+Books = ridiculously, unbelievably happy kiddie me. 🙂
If you want to see further evidence of the extent of Fisto’s delusions, here’s the thread he made about it on Roosh’s forum. Evidently some of you have the hots for him. Also, I apparently lust after all the manosphere dudes too, though I think it was someone else who had that theory. Also, you are all me.
http://www.rooshvforum.com/thread-32201.html
Apparently he and “Carlos” are BFFs who share the same apartment.
I’ll take
myyour word for it, David.Aw, more sock puppet roommates.
LOL at them saying WE are all delusional. I read that forum/blog almost daily, and I know most of these characters fairly well from reading their writing for years. And yet I just can’t believe how deliberately full of shit some of them are. They truly live in a fantasy world.
And like we are supposed to give a shit that they have consensual sex with sexy in shape girls. Like somehow that makes us angry or jealous. Why mention it? It just makes them sound like insecure whiners at best, or pathological liars at worst. Nobody gives a fuck. Really. NOBODY. GIVES. A. FUCK.
OK, this is funny:
Only possible reason your blog’s not getting hits. Love the manosphere logic lessons.
Also, weirdly inconsistent gender pronouns for David.
“That’s sad….A couple dozen women who talk about how much they dislike manosphere writers everyday…Wow, just WOW. ”
These dudes have ZERO self awareness. Oh the lolz.
Exactly! I would never want to have sex with them, it’s a revolting thought, so what does it matter if they’re having sex with HB10s (one or two of whom might even be real, you never know).
Personally, I believe NOTHING a troll says. Especially about his sex life. Their entire values systems are based on made-up shit, after all.
Man he was pretty obsessed with his blog wasn’t he. Hey ladies visit my blog! Don’t forget, I say all kinds of shocking things at my blog, which you should go see! I’m totally going to make mean posts about you at: my blog!! Why anyone wouldn’t leap at the chance to subject themselves to more of him and his opinions I just cannot fathom.
Don’t forget, we are all uggos who are totes jealous of those lucky women who have the privilege of getting demeaned during sex whether it’s their kink or not, lesbians who are jealous of um uh I’ll get back to you, feminists who only pretend to care about women’s rights because we can’t snag a date (who would for reals care about women lmao amirite), and also too we’re all David Futrelle simultaneously. We are multitudes and maybe some variety of Borg?
And the irony that FISTO- a person who frequents a blog/forum whose stated policy is “NO WOMEN, NO GAYS”- is complaining that Manboobz banned him. How many comments was he allowed to post? I think he clearly got his chance to make his case.
Oh fucking wah. Poor baby.
The fuck? Pecunium’s Borg post, last I checked (which was over a week ago) had 150+ hits, guess how many of them clicked the links to his blog? Less than 5. But see, I can see the back end data and that no comments and a handful of click throughs was actually 150+ people reading his post (or admiring his previous facial hair, I’m not sure which!)
Point here? Click throughs mean little, especially when the link is to something people are mocking.
“I even tell them they’re all lying about being raped. (actually I think they ARE lying)”
Cuz I’ve never heard that one before >.<
“We are multitudes and maybe some variety of Borg?”
Yes, we are the (feminist) Borg!!
No, seriously. Some of us started our own blog — Feminist Borg (click my nym if you’re curious).
Hive mind — I’m slacking, and so seems to be everyone else. Don’t make me ask your preferred safe words and get out my whip! (Don’t worry, I’d probably rather be on the other side of it, and deserve it at least as much as anyone else currently)
From that forum:
What heterosexual dude do you know who’s interested in another man’s sexual performance.
lolol. That’s the entirety of PUA sites. They’re all just dudes bragging about sex and other guys being all “wow that was awesome.”
Cloudiah:
Ergo, concordantly, vis-a-vis…
Nice, I like the Feminist Borg blog. (Whoa, when you make a blog not sound like a repulsive trash pit people voluntarily go visit it, is that how it works? Nahhh, couldn’t be!)
And the brags are all fake. It’s sheer fantasy land. No wonder it smells like a circle jerk…er, no homo, bro.
… it’s amazingly meta that they talk about Manboobz and Manboobz talks about them.
They come here to troll, we cite examples of their stuff that’s horrid, repeat.
We’re an ecosystem! An ecosystem of insipid hate and awesome cake recipes!
OT except for the relevance to snark about fedora-wearing PUAs and their ilk: this article about a man and the reactions to his hat from his own Somali community here and people in the wider community is really interesting.
Thought it’s a trilby, not a fedora. 🙂
http://www.theage.com.au/victoria/what-my-hat-says-about-you-20140117-310u8.html
So Fisto’s tales of women who all like to be slapped and spat on are based on his experience with impoverished bar girls? LOL. Yeah dude, you sure are a stud.
(BTW, Falconer, thanks for calling out his attempt to neg me. That was creepy, even if totally ineffective.)
Next we learn that when women say no to Carlos he punishes them by withdrawing affection and giving them the silent treatment. What a surprise.
@cassandra, I would consider that a negative reward rather than punishment. 🙂
Me too! But of course in his fantasy all the women rush over and try to make it up to him. Given that he’s Fisto, they’re probably worried that they won’t get paid if they piss him off.
@cassanda, I’m *so* pleased that I read your comment *before* I sipped my tea, otherwise my monitor would now be wearing it.
The laughing stock of River Valley Fever? Rational Valuation Formula? Who can say.
@Fisto Having a dog named Fisto was the one cool thing about you and turns out that’s not really true. Disappointing.
I don’t know which is more amusing, that Christian, a real life Bobbie Bottleservice, swooped in to defend Fisto’s honor or that Fisto thinks having a roomie jump on a comment board to back him up is more mature than sockpuppeting. I second David’s point that none of this whining fits the mythical Alpha bullshit that they base their lives on.
I love how the least self-aware man on earth actually says this on a Roosh message board while denouncing David.
Don’t PUAs talk, write and obsess over each other’s sex lives ad infinitum while circle-jerking over their self-proclaimed Alpha status?
Wait, did Fisto compare himself to Thor?
Does he even know anything about women with regards to Thor? Many consider Thor pretty to look at. They would only chose Thor if Loki was not an option and it was easy and they were bored. And the vast majority of them would prefer to ship Loki and Thor and watch from the sidelines.
Nothing says heteromasculine-alpha quite like idolising a fictional beta character who is ripe for homoerotic fanfic! Thor is clearly submissive to his father and mother, and forms only one relationship with a woman while maintaining platonic friendships with other women.
But then, Fisto is obviously an omega. Only an omega focuses on orgasms to the detriment of herd survival. Only an omega obsesses over broadcasting a false alpha appearance, usually by body-building. Only an omega becomes concerned with the hierarchy, demonstrating a complete lack of confidence and an inability to recognise actual alphas (Peter Jackson is most decidely an alpha). Only an omega fails to recognise that the females of the species are also powerful, individual, and to be respected because all he sees is the gatekeeper of his next orgasm. Only an omega becomes exclusive (no ‘fatties or lesbos’ allowed in his sight) because unlike an alpha, he fails to recognise the important roles individuals play beyond selfish orgasms. An omega can and does mate, but only because the females of the species are optimistic about trying new things. Sort of like how I tried that lime cheesecake on the airplane the other day but had to put it down after a few bites because I was going to puke, and I know I don’t like cheesecake, but it was an airplane meal and I thought it would taste better relative to the rest of what was served and maybe the lime would have been tasty.
Behold! Here is a visual representation of Fisto’s attempt to convince us all that he’s a super dominant alpha male, and the result.
I don’t suppose it occurs to these scrotosphere types that plenty of people see “Thor” and don’t think “good looking actor playing part” but “lumbering idiot of a Norse god with red beard, red eyes, tendency to get drunk, perpetually being tricked by Loki, always out smashing things with his hammer, and driving a chariot pulled by goats.”
This does really take the cake . I would imagine that question would make Fisto’s(and others) face start burning . Dude writing advice on how to pick up girls and telling his disgusting real or not real stories in detail ? .Fisto WANTS other heterosexual men to be “interested ” in his sexual “performance.” The other dude is trying to sell a book about his .They look to be ADMIRED by other men .The problem is David doesn’t .He mocks them for their misogyny and stupidity .That’s the difference .
Really the irony .
These guys are also pretty fixated on the sexual performance or just sex lives of men who aren’t misogynists. They can’t comprehend that there are guys who have happy sexual relationships while seeing women as people, rather than fucktoys to be punished.
My inner pedant can’t resist pointing out that I don’t think Fisto compared himself to Thor, but Christian McQueen in his ‘blistering’ rebuttal.
I’ll second that I’m also now envisioning a burly, drunken Norse god with excessive body hair, not much smarts and a big hammer.
@ Kittehserf,
‘They can’t comprehend that there are guys who have happy sexual relationships while seeing women as people, rather than fucktoys to be punished.’
couldn’t agree more.
I hate how they constantly assert that the only reason men support feminism, or simply disagree with blatant misogyny, is because they’re just trying to get laid. As if no man has any other motivation in his life than the pursuit of sex? Pretty misandristic, no?
I Thor. I hit lady with hammer. She like this, because it make her feel feminine.
And in a bridal veil, if it’s that misadventure with the giants Loki got him involved in.
Hmmm…I think this troll got lost in the traffic on this thread .Did ya’ll see this?About 4 or 5 pages back .
The name “Fisto” only makes me think of the sexbot from Fallout: New Vegas.
“PLEASE ASSUME THE POSITION.”
Yup, that’s the Thor I knew from Old Norse class at uni…
My favorite saga was one where a giant stole his hammer, and Thor had to get it back by dressing in drag as Freyja, bridal veil and all. With Loki as bridesmaid, giggling all the way. If these guys think Thor = megastud, have I got news for them: Your idol was famously dumb as a brick. If you want to get with the ladies, Baldur’s your god.
Glad Fisto/Carlos is gone. Took me forever to get caught up on this thread.
There are two others w/vile posts: Cymche (as dallasapple noted) & Daddy, but maybe they left or were more socks
On kids shows, any Reading Rainbow fans here? Loved that show.
I contributed sugar cubes to the herd at some point. 🙂 & re-up now, since it has grown
Scuse me I did a little head count on this thread out of curiousity .(thats how I found the 5th troll) .Not including the trolls as of today there are 97 individual posters on this tread not “the same couple dozen.” Add the trolls there were 102 separate people commenting . That sounds more like around 9 “dozen” to me..
For gins I randomly picked another thread .That had 294 comments. (they noted David gets 300 comments something must be up with that /not legit) The one with whats his face the lawyer that sued the bars for having special drink prices for ladies .There were 65 individual posters of which 28 never commented on this thread (I cross referenced ).(So again not the “same couple dozen” “sitting on this blog all day commenting on the manosphere. Those 2 threads combined had 130 individual posters.A.K.A 10 dozen. And just because I’m kind of bored because my back is completely out .(I can barely move can only sleep 3 hours a night for the past 4 days /on pain meds ) So far the latest thread on killing women in the military deliberately to make things really equal to men …Last I checked there were 90 comments. 45(almost 4 “dozen”) individual posters of which 19(almost 2 dozen of them) did not post on the 2 previously mentioned threads. Again not the “same 2 dozen people.” So saying the same “couple dozen”, just between those 3 threads, he is leaving out 10 dozen people. I have a feeling that # is much larger .
Maybe I’ll keep counting but that’s a good enough sample I think to show Roosh is a little off on his estimates. And I just kind of doubt David has any socks let only 100’s of them of them .Fact of the matter is there are PLENTY of people out there that are disgusted with most of the shit spouted by supposed men’s rights “activist” the MGTOW’s and the PUA’s .(misogynists) He doesn’t need to make any socks.
Daddy is another “prominent” commenter on the RVF sewer.
What do unicorns eat, anyway? I vaguely recall an old Scrooge McDuck story by Carl Barks, with a unicorn eating some berries that grew in a hidden valley in the Himalayas. The Finnish translation dubbed them as some kind of fancy lingonberries, but I doubt it was the same in original.
Gongrats for the fish family event.
Back when Chris Clarke was blogging and commenting on Pharyngula, and someone complimented his witty writing, he then boasted on being the Alphabet male.
Returning to the theme of traditionalism and early marriage, guess what? It leads to social backwardness and early divorce!
So, ladies, what’s it gonna be? You can either pursue your education and career AND date around until you find someone you actually want to live with, OR you can throw it all away on some dude you’ll likely divorce in a few years anyway.
And why is Mikey so strangely, tellingly silent about the high divorce rates among marriage traditionalists, anyway?
Ooops, wrong thread. Ha ha.
Yup. And he also seems to think (cute kid!) that women are just inherently unequal to men anyway, so there’s no sense bothering to do what men do (get educated, start careers, have fun, meet people, date, have sex, and figure out who you are) — nope, we’re just supposed to go into instant social stasis mode and marry in haste before our pretty faces dry up and fall off. Never mind that being stuck in a loveless marriage to a domineering older male is a surefire recipe for premature aging. And that the best remedy for that is to lose the loser and go back to school, work, finding yourself, etc.
He’s trotting out all the old bogus Biotruths™ that were debunked long ago by a wave of disgruntled women who’d had it with being nothing more than arm candy, unpaid housekeepers, and breeders. He forgets that feminism isn’t just some cute theory that looks good on paper…it’s praxis and lived experience that drives the whole shebang.