The feminist utopia?
What do women want? According to one of our favorite female feminism-haters, Laura Grace Robins, it’s sort of a a tossup between the vote and designer purses. But that’s not what women really need — which is a husband. Oh, and milk. Can you remember to get milk?
At least that’s what I think she’s saying. See if you can figure it out from this quote from her post “Remove the Needs.” I have taken the liberty of bolding my favorite bits. Anyway, here’s Ms. Robins’ vision of the modern postfeminist woman:
She may have everything she wants, but not everything she needs. She wants independence, the vote, her own income, etc., but she wants all these things like she wants a designer purse. Underneath it all, it is just for show and what she really needs are the basics; like food, shelter, and a husband. She may have fancy clothes and independence, but it is the needs that nourish. She can deny the needs and focus on wants, but a life purely filled of wants is typically shallow and empty. Feminists have been the advertisers that make us buy into wants instead of our needs. If we know what our needs are then we can walk down the aisle of feminism and not be allured by the glossy packaging of independence and income. I’m not here for the “Starbuck Frappuccino”, but for a gallon of milk.
But what if the woman in question is lactose intolerant? IN YOUR FACE, LAURA GRACE!
Also, I’m wondering what exactly a “Starbuck Frappuccino” is. I would love to have a Frappuccino with Starbuck. Either one, actually.
Starbucks
Ms. Robins concludes:
Now most women live hollow lives filled with closets full of shoes and purses, while homes are empty of husbands and children.
I think that, like a lot of the people I write about on this blog, Laura Grace Robins has confused reality with Sex and the City.
The show ended nearly a decade ago! At least get a current TV show to confuse reality with!
If women were so happy and fulfilled and generally spaced-out in the sort of mid-Victorian roles these idiots assume they all had, why did feminism happen in the first place? It’s one of those “it’s so natural you have to keep enforcing it” things.
That’s the other thing too, of course: all these libertarians and ‘Murrica! ‘Murrica! types who blather on about rugged individualism and sturdy independence and so on ad nauseam only want it for white men. Everyone else is of the servant or sex class.
Pippin, welcome!
That’s an eye-rolling article, all right. Life is rigged against women, but let some dudes think any single thing is against them, and hear the shrieks of outrage.
I wonder how many of these pooooor faaaathers were the primary caregivers? Not bloody many, I’d bet.
auggz – ::rolls eyes:: Oh gods yes, I’d forgotten that standard response.
Imagine the duderage if someone told the incels and MGTOWexcepttheyneverdo that their troubles came from being too fat/skinny/ugly/stupid/ to attract a woman and being jealous of all the guys that do.
I’m in the “I can’t buy a cheap bra at Walmart because they only go up to DD” category.
But, hey, we busty girls at least have our own awesome comic. 🙂
http://bustygirlcomics.com/
Health care insurance is one of the many awesome things about being Canadian.
Weather is one of the less-awesome things about being Canadian. I laugh at your -13! BWAhaHAH! Friday morning it was -33 C here. And today it’s zero (which is the melting/freezing point of water), and it’s a mucky mess. And then it’s all going to freeze again, so the roads will be a giant ice slick. I hate winter. Damn the Feminist Hivemind for causing winter!
😯
Driving on roads that are constantly freezing and melting and freezing again sounds really scary.
@Cassandra, yup. I crashed a truck on icy roads about ten years ago, and I’ve been a VERY nervous winter driver ever since, which keeps me fairly housebound in the dark/cold months. I’m sick of it already, and solstice is still a month away. 🙁
It’s 38 and raining here in Austin, and there’s a winter weather advisory. I’m kind of hoping for an ice/snow day.
Unimaginative: I grew up in upstate NY, being a nervous winter driver is a good thing.
RE: auggziliary
What do you mean he threatened to slap you? Aren’t you supposed to be passed out during surgery?
Apparently fainting when the IV is going in delays things. I’m supposed to be fully conscious when they IV me, so then they know I’m good and out, I guess? He was just an ass on the whole in general; his goddamn intern or anaesthesiologist-in-training (whatever you call them) was way nicer, and gently talked to me about her trip to Ukraine or something to keep me distracted.
RE: naltia
I know the woman who made Busty Girl Comics! We shared a panel and were table neighbors at a con together! She’s really nice.
Thanks, kittehserf! 🙂
It was weird reading an article like that ‘in real life’, if that makes sense.
Some of my family members (both sides) have had divorces. Five total, and I’m afraid the circumstances with each of those divorces don’t quite line up with these guys’ point of view.
…
*sneaks back to lurking*
Pippin, that is especially interesting given how many domestic violence agencies rail against “Parental Alienation Syndrome” as a method abusers sucessfully use to get custody. Many argue that family court is in fact stacked against the women in abusive situations
Hey, delurk moar! 🙂
Yeah, my parents were divorced (decades ago) and I’d be really unimpressed if my male parental unit had complained about it. He was the one who committed adultery and divorced my mother, so if he’d tried the “But I want to be a faaaaatherrrrrr” it would have been the first time in my life it’d happened.
Galunadi – ewww, that adds an extra layer of squick to this “men’s only” law firm. “Hey you abusers, we’re here for y’all!”
I forget the name of the site but someone recently did a poll on MRA members and graphed the data he found out. I’m sure no one will be shocked to know the following:
1) 45% ( nearly HALF ) of them are less than 25 years old
2) 70% have never been married ( but are obsessed about women ‘raping’ them in divorce court
3) of that 70%, none of them have children ( though they’re OBSESSED with child
custody rights lol )
4) of the <25 yrs old, 9% claimed to have PhD's and 7% claimed to have Masters and Bachelors
which means they are…ta da!…LIEING…they lie about their experience with women, children, marriage, AND their educational levels…the rest polled are either "over-married" males ( men with several marriages and no doubt many estranged children behind them but, of course, THEY aren't responsible for their wrecked personal lives….women they don't know, have never met, will never meet, and wouldn't like the men if they did meet them lol..are the problem…)
Ah…the truth hurts boys doesn't it? I read the article and nearly broke my ribs I laughed so hard at the awful truth of their sad realities…and if you follow their blogs around long enough you start to realize it's actually the same tiny core of online buddies all familiar with each other and, unsurprisingly but adding to The Scary, is how many of them also cite the Bible AND have racist thinking…they're not advocating for rights, they're just trying to hold on to the priviledge of their related older white males feel they've lost and probably whine about during dinner time to their basement dwelling sons…"Back in my day boy, when men were men and women were dogs, you could count on a woman to be concerned about hand bags and not the hard realities of a mans need for total dominance. Uh, I mean WHITE man's needs, of course. See son, you'd be married now, working a good job, etc etc if it weren't for the blacks getting the vote and the effeminate, pussy whipped men who gave it to them. And if it weren't for the women doing that, the blacks wouldn't be voting either. Understand Son? That's a good boy. Now go tell your mother she can join us at the table. There's some scraps left. Besides, these dishes need cleaning."
"But Dad, she went shopping for purses."
"Dammit! Alright Boy, well, that means you'll be putting the apron on tonite. When you're done, we'll go shoot something."
The apples don't fall too far from the trees and I wouldn't be shocked if further data turned up that some of these <25 year olds also had disgruntled fathers they've recently reunited with who've given them the 'sad sack' story and these guys are desperate to prove to same daddies that they can be 'men' too. It's tragic really. I always picture these MRA dudes as being totally incapable of seeing or taking responsibility for how their lives have turned out or where they are heading, so they, ultimately, go nowhere. In that case, yeah, they'd be desperate to hang on to any shred of vain thinking to spare them total humiliation.
Chastaine, hi! I hope you remember the name of that site. That’s a poll I’d like to see. 🙂
I would love to see that poll too!
I think that was the reddit poll that inspired our MBZ poll.
Ah, yes, here it is: http://www.reddit.com/r/MensRights/comments/1gp2u6/results_from_the_rmensrights_survey/
What’s funny? When I searched for “reddit men’s rights activists poll,” David’s post turns up in the first page of results but the poll itself doesn’t.
I am actually completely unsurprised that the group skews young.
I feel like it’s the bitter often-divorced older men who’re running the show, though.
Well, yeah. And it’s the young guys who’re more easily led into it and take up the banner, I figure.
And abusers are very good at manipulating people, especially young, naive people.
Yup. ESPECIALLY the young and naive who also believe themselves cynical and hardheaded.
And PhDs, don’t forget! They’re all 20-year-old PhDs! Who could possibly be manipulating such geniuses?
I’ll see if I can get you one.
If anyone needs a troglodyte I’m sure there will be some trolls along soon, since it’s done-with-work time now on the East Coast of the US.
I feel like a troglodyte.
I’ll see if I can get you one.
Well it is the must have for the woman who has everything. Seriously though, is there a page here for how to quote, italicize etc? Every site seems different.
I dunno about a page, though Argenti’s got info, I’d reckon. But to do quotes, use the angle brackets and blockquote /blockquote. It’s all angle brackets here, with the basic i for italics, b for bold, and strike for crossing out.
Then wait to get eaten by the blockquote monster!
Hi snork maiden, did you already get a welcome package? There are some formatting tips in the comments, from Argenti.
As far as I can tell, snork maiden, this site runs through HTML coding. I use em for italics, and never use blockquotes, just because it means I can say I’ve never been eaten by the BQ monster.
That’s cheating, LBT. 😛
Would it be too much trouble to get one for me too? I could really go for some troglodyte butter masala right about now.
Hey there snork maiden!
RE: Kittehs
Lies, Kitteh! I’m a MONOGAMOUS man!
Bwahahahahaha!
I’m willing to bet a million bucks that the OP is insecure. It’s terrifying to rely on her husband and that’s why she is desperately trying to pass off her choices as “natural”. Sucking up to men and their values is just part of the job when you have to rely on men for your paycheck. So why does she do it? Maybe it’s because of a mental illness, maybe it’s because of circumstances, maybe it’s because of family pressure, or maybe it’s just that she’s a deluded moron whom honestly thinks that other people could possibly permanently fulfill her needs. Who knows? 🙂
I’ve been a stay at home mom off and on for over the past 8 years and it sucks. I don’t make enough money to cover childcare and I honestly believe that my children do best when cared for away from 20 other children when they’re very young. My husband’s job is a beast and he tends to work all kinds of random hours. BUT, in a couple of months my youngest will turn one and once she is done breastfeeding I’m going to get a 3rd shift job and tell hubby to go eff his job if it interferes. 🙂 I’m sick of relying on him and his (poor) money management skills for a living.
On a related note, I’m going to figuratively punch the next woman that tells me that I’m “lucky” to be able to afford to stay-at-home. I’m not unusually lucky, I’m absolutely not financially well off, and I don’t have parents or in-laws that are well enough to watch my children for cheap like many families do. It was an enormous sacrifice to stay-at-home with my kids, and I don’t want to hear a sob-story about how you “have” to work, especially since almost all 2 income families are financially better off than we are. We all make sacrifices. Buck up and own your choices, just like I had to do with mine.
Jezebel has a decent article on stay-at-home moms; http://jezebel.com/moms-don-t-opt-out-of-work-because-they-re-super-weal-503306759
/rant
Oh, and for extra conspiracy-theory; wonder why all the conservatives always use Starbucks as an example of being financially wasteful but don’t attack, say, Dunkin Donuts? Turns out that Starbucks’ drinkers are mostly liberal and female and Dunkin Donuts’ drinkers are mostly male and conservative.
[a href=”http://www.civicscienceinc.com/_pdf/starbucks_vs_dunkin.pdf”]IT’S SCIENCE11111[/a].
@Mez, that’s interesting. I suspect the fact that Starbucks drinks often cost more than $4 a pop is also a major factor in the claims of wasteful spending.
What does she say about a husband that doesn’t really ‘feel ” the “love” over his wife laboring cooking meals ? More like just something that needs to be done ? What if the wife “needs” to work to help support the family or the couple decides they “want” the extra income to have more to the things they both “want.” (like designer purses and golf clubs or such as private schools for their kids/ or even to have a larger retirement income ?)
Does she not get out and talk to a lot of men ?Particularly husbands ? I think its something like 75% of all married couples are two income families .And the men (unless she’s a workaholic or something) are not griping they are happy to not have to shoulder the entire financial burden.And it especially helps if he gets laid off .
I’ve also encountered men that have full time sahm wives and they resent it .Especially if she is not earing her room and board with 24/7 sex on tap even after he buys her a designer purse.Yeh that’s really woman women “need.”
Hi Serrana 🙂
Thanks Cloudiah, thanks for the welcome package. I’ll have a proper look at it and maybe change my avatar to join the kitty collective.
“@Mez, that’s interesting. I suspect the fact that Starbucks drinks often cost more than $4 a pop is also a major factor in the claims of wasteful spending.”
Argh! Only if you order something fancy. Your standard coffee I worked out to being less than 50¢ more (and it’s far stronger, so measuring by caffeine instead of ounces it’s probably cheaper)
In any case, if you just want plain coffee, whichever is closest is cheapest because the difference is less than the cost of gas.
Sorry, that one really bugs me, because the cost isn’t substainally different unless you go and order something fancy (which D&D doesn’t carry for a cost comparison)
Sorry, I thought the use of the word “often” left room for the drinks that aren’t that expensive.
And I’m sorry I went all massive argh about it, it’s a pet peeve, not some horrible thing you did.