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← Batman and cats, man
Tommy Wiseau’s The Room: An unintentional MRA classic? →

Get in mah belly, Heartiste!

 April 25, 2012
  · 261 Comments

Apparently the Heartiste Formerly Known as Roissy has discovered our little blog:

Why do normal people feel a natural disgust for feminists and manginas? Make no mistake, normal women are as repulsed as normal men are by shrieking feminists and wimpy manboy pudgeballs. In public, well-adjusted people may mouth the PC platitudes that feminists and doughboys relentlessly cudgel into squishy groupthink minds, but in private the cool people generally shun the orc hordes and leave them to mingle with their own emotionally and often physically disfigured kind. This social outcast status is what fuels their eternal hatred for truth and beauty.

Uh oh! I guess he’s not a fan.

The 800 pound bulldyke in the room that “””progressives””” of all stripes don’t want you to notice is that a lot of their radical regressivist shock troopers are comprised of biologically faulty men and women who are at the extremes of effeminacy and masculinization respectively. If it came to be widely understood and socially acceptable to acknowledge that, due to hormonal imbalance, genetic glitches, or gross environmental insult, 90% of radical femcunts are lesbians or manjawed atrocities, and 90% of manboobs are closet cases or soft, pillowy micropeens, the general population would be less likely to seriously entertain their insipid drivel.

U mad, bro?

Think about the revulsion you feel when you see a grossly obese person. It’s instinctive, like the way you would recoil from a pile of dog shit.

Dude, I don’t know if you know this, but most Americans are, you know, fat. WE ARE LEGION!

Your typical outrage feminist and limp-wristed manboob flirts dangerously close to the monster threshold. Humans recoil from manjawed, mustachioed, beady-eyed, actively aggressive women and chipmunk-cheeked, bitch tittied, curvaceously plush, passive-aggressive men as if they were the human equivalent of dog shit.

This has got to be the most ridiculously verbose version of “yeah, well, you’re a fatty” I’ve ever seen.

Oh, but it seems like we’re all about to get our big comeuppance:

The reflexive indulgence granted the monsters among us has lost its justification. Too many bleeding wounds from too many overzealous bites has rattled the slumber of the sleepers. A greater force than any sophistic monster in the world is about to bite back, viciously, lethally. Truth, as it always does, will claim ultimate victory.

Yeah, except that I’m pretty sure that “I hate you, you fat fatty” isn’t a Truth that matters a lot to anyone but you and your maladjusted fanboys.

Also, dude, you call yourself “Heartiste.” There is literally nothing more dopey than that.

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Posted in: antifeminism, evil fat fatties, grandiosity, homophobia, manginas, men who should not ever be with women ever, misogyny, narcissism, penises, PUA, reactionary bullshit, shaming tactics, worst writing in the history of the universe, your time will come
← Batman and cats, man
Tommy Wiseau’s The Room: An unintentional MRA classic? →

Comments

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  1. mythago says:
    April 27, 2012 at 7:04 pm

    Evolutionarily, a man who sees three equally enticing holes has a 2/3 chance per fuck of not passing on his genes.

    Brilliant parody though!

    Reply
  2. Bostonian says:
    April 27, 2012 at 7:36 pm

    “I’m not sure what colour pill it takes to work this logic out.”

    Chartreuse.

    Reply
  3. Pecunium says:
    April 27, 2012 at 9:00 pm

    Bostonian: Green Chartreuse, or Yellow?

    And, how much?

    Reply
  4. Kyrie says:
    April 27, 2012 at 9:11 pm

    I’m not a slut, I’m not very fat, I’m not ugly and I’m not a lesbian. Sometimes I think I fail at being a feminist.
    (although I am hairy, or at least I am most of the time. I had a theater play – and it was AWESOME – so I don’t currently have any hair on my legs or armpits, which is something that happens 3 to 5 times a year, and I wore make up, but I needed a friend to put it on because I don’t have a clue how I’m supposed to use it. It was a lot of fun.)

    Reply
  5. ozymandias42 says:
    April 27, 2012 at 9:35 pm

    Tatjna: There are some things Woman was not meant to know.

    Reply
  6. Manjaw the Mighty says:
    April 27, 2012 at 10:05 pm

    Well, Kyrie, man-hating masculine feminist dykes of various stripes differ in opinion on this matter, but I think that as long as you hate men and swear to destroy civilization, then you can call yourself a feminist. One of the things that I took away from Lesbian Amazon Feminist School is that one cannot presume to dictate other people’s personal identities.

    Reply
  7. Pterygotus says:
    May 7, 2012 at 11:03 pm

    I can think of very little more truly, deeply pathetic than someone who can’t think of any accomplishment of theirs more notable than “has sex.”
    …someone who can’t even claim *that*?

    Reply
  8. pillowinhell says:
    May 7, 2012 at 11:11 pm

    There’s nothing wrong with being a virgin or being asexual or even being someone who’s trying to get laid but hasn’t found a partner yet.

    Reply
  9. Jessica says:
    May 25, 2012 at 12:16 pm

    I know I’m late to this post but “curvaceously plush” sounds like just about the best thing ever. How adorable!

    Reply
  10. Changeling says:
    May 30, 2012 at 6:10 pm

    “curvaceously plush”

    I’m getting all hot over here. Does this guy write erotica?

    Reply
  11. Tatjna says:
    April 27, 2012 at 5:16 pm

    What, now we’re sluts? I thought we were fatties, and fatties don’t get laid, so how do we get to be sluts as well? And if all that matters is the fuck and sluts like to fuck, then I guess we’re being complimented?

    I’m not sure what colour pill it takes to work this logic out.

    Reply
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