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I’m giving a talk at Northwestern University on Monday. Topic: How to hate women and have terrible sex

 April 7, 2012
  · 780 Comments

Hot sex talk

Just a little heads up for any of you in the Chicago area: I’ll be speaking at Northwestern University on Monday, as part of its annual “Sex Week.”

My topic? “How to hate women and have terrible sex: Misogynistic sex myths, and how they ruin sex for everyone.” Nice Guys, Friend Zones, and the Alpha Asshole Cock Carousel will all make appearances.

The talk will be at 8 PM in Room G02 of Annenberg Hall on the Northwestern Campus in Evanston.

(Here’s a map.)

There will be free condoms and lube. (Apparently.)

For more about sex week, see the official website, or take a look at this piece in the Daily Northwestern.

Sex week is sponsored by the College Feminists; I’m talking at the invitation of Men Against Rape and Sexual Assault.

I’ll be writing the lecture over the weekend, so please feel free to offer suggestions as to which misogynistic sex myths I should talk about.

EDITED TO ADD: The Spearhead has discovered that I’m doing this talk. W. F. Price writes about it with his usual objectivity, by which I mean that his piece is filled with lies and weird projection.

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Posted in: feminism, misogyny, nice guys, self-promotion, sex
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  1. Falconer says:
    April 9, 2012 at 11:25 am

    Pell’s probably been taking her to some fancy restaurants that we peons couldn’t afford to go to,

    It’s all that patent money from inventing UNIX, and his phat bank from being House.

    I’m kind of sad I missed this whole thing playing out in realtime, although I am grateful that we have an accurate record for we historians who spent the weekend head-down in our video game obsessions.

    Reply
  2. Falconer says:
    April 9, 2012 at 11:27 am

    (Also, Kirby is the only character I have any proficiency with in Smash Bros.)

    You have proficiency in Smash Bros.? Teach me, O sensei! All I can do is mash A!

    Reply
  3. indifferentsky says:
    April 9, 2012 at 12:00 pm

    David Futrelle will be represented by the character “Gary the Snail”.

    Knock em dead at your talk, David. That’s a metaphor, not any violent rhetoric. They are ready for their close up of the MRM, Mr. Futrelle!

    Bring back goodies in the shape of recorded material. Thanks.

    Reply
  4. LBT says:
    April 9, 2012 at 12:05 pm

    RE: Falconer

    ‘Proficiency’ is, I’m afraid, an overstatement of my abilities. I never owned an N64, so pretty much had to learn on the fly. (I will never understand why they make a controller with THREE prongs for a species with TWO hands. Madness!) I STILL never worked out how to use the shield or grapple properly.

    My primary “strategy” is to do lots of quick A attacks, run away a lot, and take advantage of two other players tussling to rock-smack ’em. (Otherwise, the move is slow and easy to avoid.) Ditto the B+up range attack on the flat. I’m not very good, but then again, the only other people I’ve ever played with were all really, really good at Smash, so my best odds were to try and get out of the way a lot and sneak in when I could.

    Reply
  5. katz says:
    April 9, 2012 at 12:46 pm

    So I’ve never understood what someone like Pelljane is attempting to accomplish. No doubt it starts as “lol, I’ll pretend to be a 55-year-old doctor with a 19-year-old girlfriend and they’ll all believe me and look stupid,” but when they tell a bunch of goofy lies, everyone laughs at them, and then they make up more goofy lies to support their story, what’s the point?

    Someone like Mags just says random shit and obviously doesn’t care how people react, so she doesn’t bother to defend herself. Pelljane does.

    Reply
  6. cloudiah says:
    April 9, 2012 at 12:47 pm

    Aw, nice of them to notice.

    Good luck tonight!

    Reply
  7. QuantumSparkle says:
    April 9, 2012 at 12:58 pm

    Whew, just caught up! This thread is hilarious!

    Since I seldom comment, I would like to give a special thanks to Shaenon for her tireless work in curating the curiosity museum that is the Book o’ Larnin’. Every new edition is awesome! Also, everyone else (except trolls), too : I love watching you tear trolls to pieces!

    Oh, an on topic, even though you probably don’t need anything else for the talk (good luck, btw!)… Pell said this:

    Having shagged at least 300 females in my life…

    I’ve never used a condom.

    It was really important for him to point out that he has TONS partners, but absolutely never wears a condom. The idea that not wearing a condom makes him more manly or a better lay is yet another awful, sexist sex myth. And, having many partners and never wearing condoms seems like a pretty surefire way to get every possible infection ever.

    Although, considering Pell’s such a creep, it’s possible he wasn’t talking about having shagged human females. Ew. o_0

    Reply
  8. katz says:
    April 9, 2012 at 1:21 pm

    He will also take you to the 21 Club but won’t pay for your drinks.

    Reply
  9. ithiliana says:
    April 9, 2012 at 1:22 pm

    @CLoudiah: OMG, I read the link.

    Amazing that they assume the audience for David’s talk will be ONLY women–as if MEN never go to this sort of event.

    *is boggled*

    Reply
  10. Viscaria says:
    April 9, 2012 at 1:26 pm

    Wow, Cloudiah, that link!

    David Futrelle to Teach Coeds How to Have Good Sex
    by W.F. PRICE on APRIL 9, 2012

    In a piece of wonderful news for parents who send their daughters to Northwestern University, David Futrelle is getting involved in a feminist sex week in which feminists teach college girls about good and ungood sex. Even better, after giving a sex talk, he will be providing free condoms and lube to the girls.

    So many wrong things. First off, Northwestern is a not women’s-only college, nor is the event only open to women. Is The Spearhead concerned for the parents of the male students there? (Students who, I presume, get to be called “college students” instead of “co-eds”, which has to be the most condescending and usually fetishizing way possible of referring to someone pursuing their education.) Or is teaching young men about sex totally okay, but teaching young women (not girls, women; it is pretty exclusively adults who attend post-secondary institutions) shameful? Pro-tip, parents of adults: they may or may not choose to have sex with other adults. Many of them will have had sex as teenagers. But hey, most of you know that, it’s just the Spearhead folks that find it confusing.

    Later, after Price compares David to some men who have assaulted women (asshole), he says this:

    So when you hear about Futrelle teaching college girls about what constitutes good sex, you’ve got to wonder what’s going through his hindbrain while young, nubile coeds listen attentively as he positions himself as an authority on good and bad sex.

    Seriously, fuck you, pal. You don’t just get to baselessly accuse people of being predatory assholes because YOU, PERSONALLY can’t imagine giving a damn about women unless it will lead to sex. As a “young, nubile co-ed” (gag), I’m glad David’s bringing his particular brand of humour and sex-positivity to a larger audience. Oh, and did I mention fuck you?

    Reply
  11. David Futrelle says:
    April 9, 2012 at 1:38 pm

    Yeah, that Spearhead post is kind of amazing, even for The Spearhead. I may mention it in the talk itself.

    Reply
  12. Alex says:
    April 9, 2012 at 1:39 pm

    “Seriously, fuck you, pal. You don’t just get to baselessly accuse people of being predatory assholes because YOU, PERSONALLY can’t imagine giving a damn about women unless it will lead to sex.”

    It’s ironic, isn’t it? Especially considering how prevalent they think false accusations are. I guess they have no problem if they’re the ones making them.

    Reply
  13. Viscaria says:
    April 9, 2012 at 1:58 pm

    I’m trying to imagine my parents being upset, as opposed to pleased and relieved, to discover I was attending a talk about misogynistic myths about sex. I… I don’t see it.

    Reply
  14. Quackers says:
    April 9, 2012 at 2:04 pm

    that entire Spearhead article is pretty much falsely accusing David of being a sexual deviant. I thought MRAs were against false accusations?

    but not when it comes to manginas amirite?

    the way he describes college women sounds like a fucking porno. Nubile young coeds? what a creep. Stop projecting your perversions onto David, Price. Its the MRM who views women as nothing but flesh and holes to “pump and dump”, not feminists.

    fuck it…you know scratch what I wrote. I think that post can be summed up with this pic:

    Reply
  15. princessbonbon says:
    April 9, 2012 at 2:22 pm

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ry7Efyn06DY

    That ugly post makes me go to this because kitteh learns that bouncing down the stairs is not always a good idea.

    And my step mom had that SAME EXACT rug in our living room!

    Reply
  16. princessbonbon says:
    April 9, 2012 at 2:22 pm

    http://youtu.be/eI9v8M3_1SY

    Dang it, maybe this one?

    Reply
  17. LBT says:
    April 9, 2012 at 2:23 pm

    “Nubile young co-eds.”

    Deadpool? Is that you? Who let YOU on the Internet?

    Reply
  18. Falconer says:
    April 9, 2012 at 2:54 pm

    @LBT: I played Smash Bros against a guy once who insisted on turning off all the items, playing Pikachu on a specific map where he could get on the edge and deny me the ability to get back on the platform with his lightning-strike attack.

    I didn’t play against that guy again.

    I don’t play Smash Bros all that much. It doesn’t tend to hold my interest for hours the way games with an actual story do.

    Deadpool? Is that you? Who let YOU on the Internet?

    If he thinks in little yellow boxes, it’s him.

    Reply
  19. Polliwog says:
    April 9, 2012 at 3:07 pm

    What I love about the “nubile young coeds” passage (and by “love” I mean “loathe, but find amusing”) is that everything in it could apply to all college professors – partciularly if their subjects in some way involve sex.

    Therefore, I can absolutely rewrite that sentence to be about my mother, who is a biology professor, and have it make just as much sense:

    So when you hear about Polliwog’s mom teaching college girls about what constitutes sexual reproduction, you’ve got to wonder what’s going through her hindbrain while young, nubile coeds listen attentively as she positions herself as an authority on sexual reproduction.

    (I’m pretty sure the answer would be something along the lines of, “Whoa, my students are listening attentively? Weird!” or possibly, “I’m hungry. I wonder if anyone is giving away free food on the quad today?” I suspect both of these thoughts are significantly more common among people who spend their time speaking about things to college students than, “Awwww yeah, I’m totally talking to young adults right now, bow chicka bow wow,” regardless of the genders involved.)

    Reply
  20. Tulgey Logger says:
    April 9, 2012 at 3:20 pm

    Aw, Jane wrote some funnies about me! I’m so flattered.

    I don’t know what a “poof forn” is, and if my mom were to ask she’d learn I’m bisexual, but still. Flattered.

    Reply
  21. kirbywarp says:
    April 9, 2012 at 3:45 pm

    Now Jane just needs to construct a ballad asking me some gosh-darned ungoogleable questions!!!

    *sigh*

    That second one wasn’t even a limerick. *envy*

    @LBT:

    Funny enough, I got my username from playing SSB. I played kirby all the time until the second game when the up+B sword got nerfed. Then I switched to Ness. ^_^

    Reply
  22. katz says:
    April 9, 2012 at 4:42 pm

    No luxury car and no mansion
    Can give Pell a talent for scansion.
    His skill’s not in rhyming,
    Nor humorous timing,
    But alias quota expansion.

    Reply
  23. Joanna says:
    April 9, 2012 at 5:03 pm

    Missed all the fun. Again.

    Reply
  24. LBT says:
    April 10, 2012 at 9:45 am

    RE: Kirbywarp

    Learned Smash Kirby due to Kirby being the first vidya game character we ever played. (Kirby Dreamland 2 on Gameboy, YEEHAW!) So nostalgic value.

    RE: Falconer

    Yeah, that’s no fun. Items are great to play with!

    My brother was a big fan of playing DK and pulling the suicide move of grabbing Kirby and just jumping off the edge with him. Hugely obnoxious on someone who has more lives than you and can afford to waste one just to mock you.

    Since I never played Smash on my own, only in groups and in short bouts, it was always fun to play for me. (Y’know, once I accepted that I was likely to lose 7/8 times. Once I accepted my title as Likely Loser, I was able to have a lot more fun.)

    Reply
  25. LBT says:
    April 10, 2012 at 9:45 am

    Dammit, now I’m imagining the MRA being infiltrated by Deadpool, who doesn’t realize they’re being serious.

    Reply
  26. Alex says:
    April 10, 2012 at 11:20 am

    My favourite moment on this thread remains:

    Everyone was very nice when Pell got creepy and uploaded videos of cute animals, after which,

    Me: I will one day have a menagerie of my own.

    Pell: That’s no substitute for a real man honey.

    khantron: Eww…man honey. Why can’t Pell just call it santorum like everyone else.

    Reply
  27. cloudiah says:
    April 10, 2012 at 12:47 pm

    @Alex That moment was my favorite too.

    Reply
  28. Falconer says:
    April 10, 2012 at 3:52 pm

    @LBT: My Dearly Beloved loves to play Yoshi, park on the edge of the map, and send people flying off the map as eggs. She doesn’t do it often (that is, all the time) but she indulges about once a session.

    One time playing SSB Melee we got a Pokemon that turned the entire screen black. We were both playing Kirby at the time and we both taunted at about the same moment.

    If we ever needed any confirmation that Our Love Is Pure, that was it.

    Reply
  29. Shadow says:
    April 10, 2012 at 4:03 pm

    @Falconer

    My Dearly Beloved loves to play Yoshi, park on the edge of the map, and send people flying off the map as eggs

    Your Dearly Beloved is clearly a badass among badasses, and, should we ever meet, will be the recepient of multiple fist bumps from yours truly

    Reply
  30. Sharculese says:
    April 10, 2012 at 4:08 pm

    two of my roommates used to play all night long, always link vs. falco. every map, every condition, link vs. falco. they ended up making it the name of our router.

    Reply
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