whtmheader4

  • Home
  • Comments Policy
  • About
    • Mammoth FAQ
    • David Futrelle FAQ
  • T-Shirts, etc.
  • WTF is a MGTOW? A Glossary
← >The Cupcake Files, Part One: Happy Bachelors Edition
>The Cupcake Files, Part Two: NiceGuys Edition →

>Roissy Reconsidered

 February 4, 2011
  · 17 Comments

>

No date tonight!

The other day I made some critical remarks about some dating advice from pickup guru Roissy — specifically, a list of things prospective Don Juans can do to keep the ladies “on their toes” and generate a certain level of mystery, always enticing to the fairer sex. I have reconsidered one suggestion of Roissy’s, which I now realize is sort of brilliant. That is:

Cancel dates. (Make the reason seem apparently legitimate, but suspicious.)

Your success in using this tactic, of course, is largely dependent on how good you are at concocting vaguely plausible but not completely convincing excuses for canceling. Here are several to get you started:

“Sorry, babe, can’t make our date tonight. I’ve lost all my shoes.”

“I’m going to have to take a raincheck on our weekend getaway in the Berkshires, snuggle-bunny. I have gotten my head stuck in a bucket.”

“Oops! No go for tomorrow, sugar-tits. I just realized our salsa dancing class conflicts with my speech at the 93rd Annual Dirndl Appreciation Society meeting.”

“Tuesday night is out, cupcake. I have climbed up a tree and I just can’t seem to figure out how to get back down.”

“I feel terrible about this, stinky, but there’s no way I can make it tonight. I have completely lost my sense of direction and have been walking in circles for the past ten hours.”  

You may use any of these you want. You’re welcome! And suggest your own, if you wish.

—

If you enjoyed this post, would you kindly use the “Share This” or one of the other buttons below to share it on Twitter, Facebook, Reddit, or wherever else you want. I appreciate it.

Share this:

  • Facebook
  • Twitter
  • Reddit
  • Tumblr
  • Email
  • More
  • Google
  • Pinterest
  • LinkedIn
  • Pocket
  • Print

Like this:

Like Loading...

Related

Posted in: douchebaggery, funny, I'm totally being sarcastic, men who should not ever be with women ever, PUA, Uncategorized
← >The Cupcake Files, Part One: Happy Bachelors Edition
>The Cupcake Files, Part Two: NiceGuys Edition →

Comments

Please read the comments policy before leaving a comment - thanks!

  1. Elizabeth says:
    February 4, 2011 at 10:46 pm

    >That tree one would fail-she could just offer to show up with a ladder.

    Reply
  2. David Futrelle says:
    February 4, 2011 at 10:54 pm

    >Nah. Don't you remember? Women never help men out, ever.

    Reply
  3. Elizabeth says:
    February 4, 2011 at 11:00 pm

    >*smacks forehead* I forgot! I did come up with one though…but it is really gross.

    Reply
  4. David Futrelle says:
    February 4, 2011 at 11:11 pm

    >Note to Liza: I deleted your comment. Read the comment policy, por favor.

    Reply
  5. Katz says:
    February 5, 2011 at 12:32 am

    >"Forgot to tell you sweetcheeks, I'm Going My Own Way Now!"

    Reply
  6. Nymeria says:
    February 5, 2011 at 5:07 am

    >"I'm really sorry about this, ballbuster, but I can't make it to the spring formal. My therapist says you're not real." "I can't make it to your uncle's wedding, potato. The escalator just broke down midway." "Hey butterbutt, I meant to call you, but these shiny Vulpix aren't going to breed themselves."

    Reply
  7. Johnny says:
    February 5, 2011 at 5:14 am

    >Hey, Crablegs, can't make it to the ice cream social tonight, iNsAnEgOkU666 posted some new Two and a Half Men Fanfiction.

    Reply
  8. LexieDi says:
    February 5, 2011 at 5:20 am

    >Hate to tell ya, billygoat, but I just can't make it to your shindig, I have to make sure to mail this money off to this nice Nigerian prince so that I can donate to the sexy ladybot revolution. Now, now, don't get huffy; we all have to do our part.

    Reply
  9. nobody says:
    February 5, 2011 at 5:42 am

    >Dear, I just won't be able to come tonight. There are some cat videos on the internet I simply must watch.

    Reply
  10. booboonation says:
    February 5, 2011 at 7:06 am

    >I think these excuses would just make the person look weird, and I know I didn't like the occasion when I was referred to as stinky.

    Reply
  11. Captain Bathrobe says:
    February 5, 2011 at 7:17 am

    >Sorry sweetcakes, there's really good Sharpie-in-pooper thread on 4chan, and I want to get there before it 404s.

    Reply
  12. rebekah says:
    February 5, 2011 at 7:39 am

    >hey david, btw you may want to check out the boycott american women post from january28th. It's something you'll want to post about

    Reply
  13. David Futrelle says:
    February 5, 2011 at 7:59 am

    >rebekah, thanks. And yep, that's an exceptionally loopy one. I've seen a few other MRA types try to make a similar argument. I may indeed end up writing about it.

    Reply
  14. Joe says:
    February 5, 2011 at 4:52 pm

    >Sorry thunderthighs, can't make it because I've got a horrible case of phantom head pain.

    Reply
  15. Bee says:
    February 5, 2011 at 6:15 pm

    >Hey, shit tits. About the Slash concert tonight–can't make it. I've got this coupon for KFC, so I'm gonna be unavailable for a while, actually.

    Reply
  16. Andrew says:
    February 8, 2011 at 11:54 pm

    >Sugar tits…That's my favorite.

    Reply
  17. pwlsax says:
    February 10, 2011 at 3:22 pm

    >As a jazz player and collector, I have a built in excuse. "There's a jam session or such-and-such is spinning platters." Total, inevitable sausagefest. No woman would WANT to go. Jazz, like cars, is a safe zone for misogynists.

    Reply

Leave a Reply Cancel reply

Please read the comments policy before leaving a comment - thanks!

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.

1
We Hunted the Mammoth tracks and mocks the white male rage underlying the rise of Trump and Trumpism. This blog is NOT a safe space; given the subject matter -- misogyny and hate -- there's really no way it could be.

~ David Futrelle, writer/editor/cat entertainer. Click my name to email me.

Donate to the Mammoth!

WHTM is now AD-FREE and depends on READERS LIKE YOU for survival! Please DONATE what you can by clicking below. No need for a PayPal account.

Follow Me

  • View david.futrelle’s profile on Facebook
  • View DavidFutrelle’s profile on Twitter
  • View David Futrelle’s profile on YouTube
  • View David Futrelle’s profile on Google+

Subscribe via Email

Recent Posts

  • Jews are using yoga pants to genocide the white race, weirdo racist dingbat charges
  • Happy Day Before Post-Valentine’s Day Candy Sales! Open Thread with BONUS CREEPY V-DAY CARDS
  • Incels spend Valentine’s day celebrating the Parkland shooting one year ago that left 17 dead
  • Incels of the world, unite! Presenting the not-so-glorious new science of Marxism-Incelism
  • Pro athletes are cucking Brad Pitt, because all women love jocks, confused MGTOW contends
  • Vulvagate: When mansplaining goes so wrong the dictionary itself has to step in
  • Porn star and accused sexual abuser Mercedes Carrera: The only women the MGTOWs ever loved?
  • Reddit dickheads are losing it over the new “tiny dick” emoji
  • Porn star Mercedes Carrera was a Gamergate icon. Now that she’s been charged with child sexual abuse, ex-fans pretend they never knew her
  • Creepy Nazi NoFapper: The Jews “fear men who practice semen retention”

Top Posts

  • Jews are using yoga pants to genocide the white race, weirdo racist dingbat charges
  • Incels spend Valentine's day celebrating the Parkland shooting one year ago that left 17 dead
  • Vulvagate: When mansplaining goes so wrong the dictionary itself has to step in
  • Happy Day Before Post-Valentine's Day Candy Sales! Open Thread with BONUS CREEPY V-DAY CARDS

Old Crap

Recent Comments

  • Rabid Rabbit February 16, 2019 at 10:20 pm on Jews are using yoga pants to genocide the white race, weirdo racist dingbat charges
  • Rabid Rabbit February 16, 2019 at 10:10 pm on Incels spend Valentine’s day celebrating the Parkland shooting one year ago that left 17 dead
  • Red R. Lion February 16, 2019 at 10:07 pm on Incels spend Valentine’s day celebrating the Parkland shooting one year ago that left 17 dead
  • Rabid Rabbit February 16, 2019 at 10:01 pm on Incels of the world, unite! Presenting the not-so-glorious new science of Marxism-Incelism
  • Scildfreja Unnyðnes February 16, 2019 at 9:55 pm on Jews are using yoga pants to genocide the white race, weirdo racist dingbat charges
  • Bookworm In Hijab February 16, 2019 at 7:32 pm on Jews are using yoga pants to genocide the white race, weirdo racist dingbat charges
  • Jerdle February 16, 2019 at 7:18 pm on Incels of the world, unite! Presenting the not-so-glorious new science of Marxism-Incelism
  • Victorious Parasol February 16, 2019 at 7:15 pm on Jews are using yoga pants to genocide the white race, weirdo racist dingbat charges

Feed the Mammoth!

Keep this blog going by clicking on the link below! You don't even need a PayPal account.

Tweet Tweet

My Tweets

Random WHTM Posts!

  • What happened when A Voice for Men’s News Director tried to publish an anti-Cosby post on that terrible siteWhat happened when A Voice for Men’s News Director tried to publish an anti-Cosby post on that terrible siteJuly 31, 2015
  • Norwegian terrorist Anders Breivik’s manifesto reveals him to be a rabid antifeminist with views strikingly similar to many MRAsNorwegian terrorist Anders Breivik’s manifesto reveals him to be a rabid antifeminist with views strikingly similar to many MRAsJuly 24, 2011
  • Atheist bigwig Sam Harris: “If I could wave a magic wand and get rid of either rape or religion, I would not hesitate to get rid of religion.”Atheist bigwig Sam Harris: “If I could wave a magic wand and get rid of either rape or religion, I would not hesitate to get rid of religion.”November 18, 2012
  • Yeastward ho! A Voice for Men heads in a radically yeasty new directionYeastward ho! A Voice for Men heads in a radically yeasty new directionAugust 14, 2015
  • Betty Friedan: Communist homewrecker?Betty Friedan: Communist homewrecker?February 22, 2013

If You’re Being Harassed

  • Speak Up & Stay Safe(r)
  • Crash Override
  • DIY Feminist Cybersecurity
  • Without My Consent
  • 9 Ways to Dodge Trolls

Creep Watchers

  • Hail to the Gynocracy!
  • Right Wing Watch
  • Hate Watch (SPLC)
  • Media Matters
  • Fundies Say the Darndest Things
  • My Right Wing Dad
  • r/ShitRedditSays
  • r/GamerGhazi
  • r/TheBluePill
  • r/AgainstMensRights
  • r/CreepyPMs

Mammothy Fun

  • Official WHTM Welcome Package!
  • Artistry For Feminism. And Kittens.
  • A Voice for Pierre
Privacy & Cookies: This site uses cookies. By continuing to use this website, you agree to their use.
To find out more, including how to control cookies, see here: Cookie Policy
We Hunted The Mammoth | Copyright © 2019 All Rights Reserved
loading Cancel
Post was not sent - check your email addresses!
Email check failed, please try again
Sorry, your blog cannot share posts by email.
%d bloggers like this: