|Actually, there’s no “me” in “assumption.”|
This is a note mainly intended for my MRA readers, mostly so I won’t have to deal with all this crap in comments again and again.
1) That I am anti-male, or against rights for men. Nope! I’m a man. I like having rights. The same rights as women. I am opposed to the retrograde, self-described “Men’s Rights Movement,” which I think is a bad thing for men and women both.
2) That every post I make about an individual Men’s Rights Activist or antifeminist is intended as a critique of the Men’s Rights Movement as a whole. Nope! Not all feminists agree on everything; not all MRAs agree on everything. When I critique an individual, you should take that as a critique of that individual. Though sometimes the things these individuals think are things that lots of MRAs think, which brings us to to our next item in the list.
3) That every post I make that critiques ideas and attitudes that pervade the MRM is an attack on each and every MRA. Nope! However widespread these ideas and attitudes are, there are invariably MRAs who don’t believe these things, and my critique obviously does not apply to them.
4) That because I am a feminist, I am somehow responsible for everything ever said or done by every other feminist. Nope! I am one dude. I am responsible for the things I say and do. I am not responsible for the things I do not say or do. The fact that some feminist thinks some thing does not necessarily mean that I think that thing. I might, I might not. (This applies more broadly: The fact that some feminist thinks some thing does not necessarily mean that all other feminists, or even most, or even many, think that thing.)
5) That I think women are pure as the driven snow and that men are all evil. Nope! I am aware, as every other human being I’ve ever meet is aware, that both men and women can do horrible, horrible things. Individual women abuse children, kill people, and screw over men and other women alike. They basically do every bad thing in the world that men do. You want to see how horrible some women can be? Watch the documentary Dear Zachary. It’s on Netflix instant watch. It’s really depressing. Still, there are areas in which men, on average, behave worse than women, on average. Men, for example, commit the overwhelming majority of violent crimes; they are responsible for the overwhelming majority of rapes. Acknowledging these facts is not the same as saying that all women are angels. They’re not.
6) That I think every bad thing in the world is all the fault of men. See above.
7) That everything I post on this blog is a deadly serious indictment of the MRM. Nope! Sometimes I post stuff that relates more broadly to men’s issues. Sometimes I make jokes. Sometimes I post odd pictures.
8) That I should immediately write a giant policy statement/rebuttal/manifesto on any given subject that any commenter brings up at any time. Nope! I have my own agenda, and I’m doing things on my own schedule. I may not think your pet issue is all that important. And even if I do, I may not get around to posting about it right away. There are a lot of important issues, and I’m one dude. If any of this makes you unhappy, well, you don’t have to read this blog.
9) That I am interested in having unending discussions with people who misrepresent things I’ve said, or things other feminists have said, or who simply dismiss research conducted by feminists without even reading it. Nope!
10) That I really care what MRAs think of this blog. Nope! Put bluntly, this blog isn’t for you. It’s for all the people in the world who aren’t you. Actually, that’s not 100% true: If this blog convinces an MRA or two to stop being an MRA, that would be cool. I don’t really expect that to happen, but, hey, I won’t complain if it does. You’re free to post comments here, like everyone else, but I’m not trying to win your approval.