>Attention all Western-women-hating Asian fetishist dudes! Have real Asian girls turned out to be way less submissive than you imagined? Or are they simply disgusted by you? There’s a solution, in the form of an actual iPhone app called Design Your Dream Asian Girl. The 99 cent app, from Spendthrift Studios, allows you to mix-and-match features of young Asian women until you find the perfect imaginary woman to stare creepily at until your iPhone runs down its charge:
You can finally create the beautiful asian girl of your dreams! This app brings you hundreds of beautiful asian girls around the world. Customize your own dream asian girl.
Among the features:
Pick the ethnicity for your asian girl first: China, Korea, Taiwan. More countries coming soon.
What? No Japan?! Luckily they all look alike.*
Pick the eyes, lips, and nose for your dream asian girl. Hundreds of beautiful combinations offered
Share your girl via e-mail to your friends
Come on! The guys in the target demographic for this app have no friends. If they do, their friends may reconsider the friendships after receiving a half-dozen pics of weirdly mix-and-matched Asian faces with the text “HEY GUIZE LOOK AT MY HOTT NEW ASIAN GF!!!!!”
Oh, and if you want to be extra creepy?
Make your dream girl look like someone you know, like your secret lover or ex-girlfriend.
By “secret lover” I imagine they mean “stalking victim.” And by “ex-girlfriend” I assume they mean “girl you went out with once and whom you’re also stalking.” Science marches on.
* For Coldfire and any other idiots who are incapable of understanding humor (or who wish to pretend that I am racist), the line about Asians looking alike was from the POV of a potential purchaser of this app, and does not reflect my own opinion.